Feeling Better This Morning

I know I said that I wasn't going to pray anymore, but that was before the two cats that I thought something happened to returned to me.  Also, all of the people that went into the hospital in my family during the past two weeks are feeling better.  I...

How Do I Hang On?

With all of this pain inside, I have to figure out how to hang on.  I have figured out that there are two sides to me.  One side wants to succeed in life.  The other wants to just throw in the towel and say fuck everything.  I'm sick of this struggle....

Losing Faith Again

First, 2 weekends ago, my mother went into the hospital.  Then, the day she got out, my father went in the hospital and is now in a rehab fascility.  Then, the day before yesterday, my grandmother went into the hospital.  She's out, but said she felt...

Gotta Figure This Out

Why am I so scared of the future?  I have all of these things that I can do to try and make it better than what I fear, yet I still think of suicide as an option.  Why am I so insecure?  This illness has really taken it's toll on me.  It's bad enough...

Fascinating, At Least to Me

How would Gabby lovers in the trailer park know what I did?  It was a long time ago.  I also know damn well that I gave her ample opportunity to erase the problem because I felt bad.  The interesting part is that I almost went broke trying to help her...

Such Is Life

I would rather people in this trailer park not talk to me than to be lied to.  Something I did pissed a lot of people off apparently.  I can't complain much though.  I would rather not be bothered than to hear people's shit.  Maybe things will be...

Crazy As Hell

Ya know, I was kind of upset when my mother was in the hospital this past weekend.  I did enjoy my freedom though.  Even though I was worried about her health, I was happy to be alone.  Now I am reminded of why a part of me hated the fact that she was...

Dang

Well, so far this crazy hurricane is only going to hit us with tropical storm force.  The cats may survive after all.  If they don't, I really don't want to live anymore.  I just can't bare the idea of seeing a bunch of dead sweethearts.  I want to...

I Gotta Chill

So far, whoever God is, has in fact protected the kitties every time I prayed for them  I shouldn't be getting nasty or beligerent because of how worried I am about these babies.  It doesn't help that Mark keeps talking about people feeding these...

Why Does This Have to Be?

I prayed again last night hoping that God would save me from my negative thoughts about him, but the Hurricane cone is directly routed over us.  I guess I can officially lose my faith forever.  I didn't even go out to get real beer last night even...

Oddly Enough

I find it rather peculiar that people have been driving more like maniacs ever since I got back into my blog.  I don't know who these people are or anything, but I suspect they are people who don't believe in freedom of speech.  Ever since my first...

Why Was I Starting to Get My Faith Back?

I was believing that God was in fact protecting my kitty friends.  Now I am not so sure with this hurricane coming.  I was starting to believe that God did actually care, but now..........well, my faith is dwindling again.  I don't get to see my...

What Is This?

It is bad enough that I feel like my home is bugged and I have no freedom.  Why is everyone dropping the hint that I need help with my essays?  I can get that kind of help from the school.  My schoolwork is no one else's business on this site.  I feel...