Gonna Find Out Next Week

I'm going to find out if I can go back to school.  I want this so bad, but if I lose my check, I'd have to work full-time.  I know other people can work full-time and go to school, but they don't take a ton of meds to keep them stable.  I want to...

Anxious

I kind of hope I get to keep my disability benefits.  The pros that work(ed) with me tend to think I should have no problem keeping them.  I have an appointment to talk to someone at Social Security today, so we'll see how that goes.  If I keep them,...

Eh, Shit Happens

I have to stop letting certain things bother me.  If I see what I think is a famous person riding around in a trailer park, yes, that is just too strange, especially as many as I have seen.  That's just too wierd.  It makes more sense that it's a...

Oh Lord

Ya know...........if people don't want me around them, they shouldn't go out of their way to come and see me.  They shouldn't have people following me around or spying on me either.  I'm probably dealing with shapeshifters again.  Whatever the case...

Ah Yeah

I feel good tonight.  I dyed my hair again and got rid of the roots.  The only problem is that I did it myself instead of letting my mother do it.  Some areas of my skin look like I colored my hair with permanent marker where I missed with the...

Random Ramblings of the Mind

Well, I'm on a mood stabilizer again now.  It feels a lot better than drinking.  I can't drink with this stuff anyway, so God is good.  I feel much more alert and happy. I got two six packs of Fila socks last night at work.  They were marked down...

Whatever I Feel Like Bitching About

I still feel violated.  I hope people can learn to respect my privacy and stop trying to break my spirit.  I don't know why I always seem to be the target of "space invasion", but I'm fed up.  Don't people realize that this invasion is a main factor...

The More I Fight............

The more I fight and bitch about people crawling up my ass, the more they do it.  Dad heard beeping over the phone today.  One of us is being wiretapped with a shitty wiretap.  Also, I keep seeing a little dos screen pop up when I'm online like...

Drinking

Okay, now I know I have to quit drinking.  My boss came out with "Stop drinking." when I called out today.  It wasn't the drinking that made me call out today, but everyone has been on my ass about it around the neighborhood.  If my boss is saying it...

Realizing

I'm realizing that I can never be normal.  There's always going to be this negative force that is out to get me no matter what I do.  If it weren't the case, I would be rid of it by now.  I was talking about suicide big time when this first started in...

I Feel Like I've Been Hexed Again

Stuff keeps going wrong for me the past two days.  It feels like someone is sending nasty vibes my way. On the Bright side, I reminded my ex-boyfriend of when he raped me.  He didn't deny it.  He asked me how he hurt me, because he couldn't seem to...

Snapping Out of It

I'm coming out of a depressed state in which I almost quit my job and failed myself.  I feel better now.  I have to figure out why I am so oversensitive to criticism lately.  I think I need a change in meds or just my attitude.  Mood stabilizers and...