Psychic Vampires?

I think I know what I have been dealing with all of this time.  Prayer and other spiritual measures can counteract it.  I have been dealing with a case of energy drainage.  I did some fighting back with what I mentioned above and it seems to have...

Gotta Hang On

I have to start having more faith that life will work out for me.  Obviously, whoever the higher powers are, they don't want me to off myself, or I'd be dead already.  There has to be a positive reason for my presence on this earth.  It's time for me...

Well.............

It looks as though I definetely need to go back to the original dose of my antipsychotic.  I'm jumping to conclusions and freaking out apparently over nothing.  I took the second dose last night, so I already started to go back on the dose I was...

Hating This

I dread the fact that I have to go to work today.  It's not because I don't want to work.  It's because I don't feel like dealing with the bullshit in that place.  I have to look at the bright side though.  At least I'll get paid for it.  I've decided...

I Need to Get a New Job

I have concluded that I need a different job.  I have had it with people putting too much pressure on me after they said that it takes a while for one to get up to speed.  I'm sweating my ass off with no air conditioning in Florida heat, doing the...

Gotta Calm Down

I get worked up over mixed messages from others.  Mark started running his mouth the other day about the cats and that's why I got all upset.  Then I find out that he lied.  I got mixed messages at work last week and sunk into a suicidal depression....

I Take It Back

No one is trapping cats.  I overreacted because I'm used to the one cat disappearing at night, not during the day.  I thought that he might have gotten trapped.  My faith is restored and I'm an asshole for cussing God out again.  I am still mad at the...

I Feel Tortured

I have a feeling that they started trapping cats again.  I adore these babies and don't want them to die.  I know some people got theirs already for fucking with me, but I'm not praying anymore.  I pray for these cats and it does no good.  The only...

Relief

Yeah, I overreacted this weekend.  I was getting mixed signals, but they did my 30 day review yesterday.  I was doing fine.  They know I'm schizophrenic, so I let the manager doing the review know that I was concerned.  Apparently, my paranoia and...

There's Still Hope

I've decided that if I do get fired, I am taking a trip out of state.  I'll go up to New Jersey and visit my family up there.  I will still be okay even if I do get canned.  There has to be another job out there for me even if it's just in fast food....

Feel Like Giving Up

Why do I bother trying?  I didn't want to survive the last suicide attempt in 2014, yet they had to be assholes and force me to live.  I'm finding that I regret my survival almost everyday at least for a little while.  I work in a place that's...

I'm Such a Screw-up

I'm trying so hard to do the best that I can at work.  I'm not able to meet my hang count.  I knew I should have applied at fast food.  I, at least, used to be able to do that.  I just hated it.  I think I'm going to apply at a fast food joint and see...

I Wonder If I'm Under Psychic Attack

All of the sudden, I'm in pain for no apparent reason.  I wonder if it was because I was leaning towards Christianity again.  I want someone to believe in.  I want to know that being will take away pain and suffering, at least enough so that I can be...

Hope It Gets Better

I'm hoping things start to get better.  I thought working would help with my depression issues, but even though the store manager says I'm doing better with my work, I don't feel like I have improved enough.  I started taking the prescribed dose of my...

Also

Another update.  Mark and his family are speaking to me again.  Mark claimed that they didn't hear me.  If I believe it or not, oh well.  Other than some jerk fucking with me over the cats, everything is peaceful now.

Someone Thinks It's Funny

Okay, update.  The cat that I was just all upset about came back.  I think someone is playing games with me.  They wait for me to get all upset about the cats, cuss and hate on God, and then release the cats.  Every single time I lose faith, the cats...

I'm Hurt

Well, it looks as though I lost another cat.  I won't be praying anymore.  I lost my faith completely.  The one thing I prayed about the most was for God to keep the cats safe.  He can't even do that, so needless to say, I believe in no supernatural...

Interesting Changes

The guy that lied to me about the cats, Mark, is having problems.  He already got demoted right after my post about the trailer park.  He claimed that he is still having problems.  Ya know, most of the time he's a nice guy.  He just lies sometimes....

Scared and Lacking Confidence

Yeah, I'm definetely scared andlacking confidence right now.  Last time this happened, I was apparently paranoid.  I had the job coach go in and talk with my boss for nothing.  Maybe I really do need the second dosage of medicine at night.  I'm just...

Working Towards a Better Future

Now that I know what I am dealing with, I know that I don't need as much help as everyone around me wanted me to think.  I've figured out things that no one prepared me for, so I guess I'm not as stupid as I used to think because of everyone's shit....

Dumbass

This guy named Mark acts like he is friendly to my face, yet claims that my problem is that I am undermedicated.  First of all, I don't Goddamn think so buddy.  At least I don't cuss out my young children like he does.  Wait, I was smart.  I never had...

Ignorance is Bliss as They Say

I think I am dealing with a troll that thinks it is okay for people to hack into my computer and attack my right to an education that I am going to have to pay for.  Mollyellen, you are ignorant.  I went back to the post that you criticized and it...

Feeling Quite Proud

Though I broke my walkman on the bus today (Yes I still have a cd walkman), I'm quite proud of myself.  I had a rocky last semester, but I think I'm going to do quite well with this one.  I plan on repeating the Business Math class anyway.  I'm also...