Strange Things About Schizophrenia

Ever feel like you were being stalked by celebrities?  I did.  Go ahead and laugh.  Ever feel like songs were screaming out to you so much that they seemed to be written about you?  I did.  If you start to feel this way and can't comprehend any reason...

I Hate Stupid People

I was just reminded of why I didn't like living in the hood.  There were a few African Americans running their mouths at work near the end of the night.  The guy was even talking about jail.  The worst part is that I wasn't doing anything.  They were...

Body Rejecting Toxins

All of the sudden, today, my body is completely rejecting alcohol.  After I threw up half a "Straw-a-rita" and poured the rest down the drain, I tried to do a shot of rum.  That shit came up immediately too. My body is telling me that it's not worth...

Realizing Something

No human is perfect.  When I was a child I always used to say that, but my parents said it was a cop out.  Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.  Those strangers and neighbors that focus on mine are obviously terrified of themselves in reality.  Wherever...

Now I Have Had Enough

I am sick of being treated like a criminal when all I'm doing is trying to live my life.  If these people don't leave me the fuck alone, I'm going to start taking pictures with my phone, recording everything around me, and then have their asses thrown...

Now I Don't

Now I don't want to go back up to New Jersey.  I'm so disgusted with my dad's delayed reaction to my sometimes getting drunk and how he ignored my phone calls that I don't want to go up there even if he does say I can.  He fucking knew I was drinking....

His Loss In The End

My father has been ignoring my phone calls for the past two days.  If this is the way that he's going to be, I will use my vacation time to just get away from the normal every day bullshit rather than go see him.  If he doesn't love me, he should be...

Wow.

I got a long day ahead of me on Saturday.  1-10:30pm.  I am so not used to full time days, but I dealt with 8 1/2 hour shifts during Christmas time.  I need the money, so I may as well work it.  It gets me out of the house and keeps me awake.  Do I...

What a Beaut.

I saw some guy that really caught my eye.  He kinda reminds me of the lead singer of Seether without his beard, yet like someone else.  He's absolutely stunning, but I couldn't let on that I thought so.  He looked like he was concerned about seeing me...

Fun Day Maybe?

I plan to do some shopping before I go into work.  Just thought I would share that.

Another Day

Yep, it's another day.  I worked last night, but still didn't feel all that up to snuff.  I survived it.  I know part of the reason that I have been so depressed.  Some of these cats have been kinda sick and I can't afford to take them to the vet....

Yep, Another Day in Hell

I had to survive yesterday.  I was ready to go out and kill myself again last night.  Of course, some asshole up in the sky had to put the kibash on that.  Now I'm still alive and very pissed off about it.  I hope work changes my attitude about it....

Someone Named Spooky

Someone else must be feeding Spooky.  She's all scared of me like she reverted back to completely feral again.  There's nothing I can do about it.  I just hope she's happy wherever she is getting fed now.  I'm going to miss her cute little face...

Next Steps

Well, it looks as though I'm going to quit smoking tomorrow.  I was going to start today after I finished my last pack, but bought another one.  I also bought the patches and nicotine lozenges today, so it will be easy for me tomorrow.  Hopefully, I...