Everything Is Weird

It's ok though.  Things seem to be looking a little better.  I decided to allow one of the advisors at the school talk me into staying in school but taking a semester off.  She said that I could get tutoring in between classes, so somehow I will pass...

I Tried

I dropped out of school today.  I can eventually get a management position somewhere without the degree.  I see a lot of other people doing it.  I can work my way up.  It was just too stressful to think of everything that's been going on, school, and...

I Didn't Want to Have to............

I didn't want to have to announce the trailer park that I lived in to defend myself.  It seems somehow they all find out that it's me bitching online anyway, so if they don't like it, tough shit.  Now everyone that reads this knows where the trailer...

Oak Park Village

A joke.  People backstab, and people can't mind their own fucking business.  There.  I have a way to fight back.  Why hex when you can go off on people that are a joke.  The sad part is that there are nice folk stuck in here having to deal with this...

It Figures

It is clear that someone is attacking my computer this morning.  It's either because I get suicidal and they want to push me over the edge, someone from the trailer park that is mad at me over yesterday, or some Indian douchebag trying to get my...

This Is Ridiculous

There is so much drama in this trailer park.  I'm about ready to stop talking to just about everyone in here.  I'm tired of getting shafted like everything is my fault.  I just listen to everyone else's drama and try to do what's right despite what I...

Something Is Wrong

I can't seem to gather up enough energy to stay awake during the day.  I'm also finding myself having suicidal thoughts again.  I could have killed myself this morning when my mother went out, but chose not to.  Still, as soon as she came home the...

What I Am Thinking About Right Now

I'm thinking that I am scared of my future.  I'm sick of fighting with my mother.  I'm sick of living with my mother.  I know she needs financial support, but she's not doing anything to find herself another job.  This is making it harder on me.  Yes,...

Damn This Hurts

It seems as though the people in the neighborhood are out to hurt me for some odd reason.  I don't think it's fair, but what can I do about it?  If people insist on being mean, why don't they just leave me alone instead of fucking with my head.  I...

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that the punk from the tree service that was giving me problems is moving out of the park.  I won't have to deal with his shit or his friends' shit anymore.   The bad news is that people I thought were my friends basically...

Freedom

I feel very free this morning.  I'm almost done with these stupid biology classes.  Thank God.  I have a week off between sessions, so during that week, job applications are going to be filled out.  I'm not waiting anymore for Voc. Rehab to help me....

Wondering

I finally opened my box of goodies.  All of my hexing material is intact.  The question is, do I use it or do I let shit go?  It seems like everyone is starting to leave me alone, so maybe I will let the stuff collect dust.  If the tree service guy...

Now I See Why She Has Problems

I want to say her full real name so bad because I want to expose her for what she is.  Gabby is her nickname, so I'll use that.  She's the type of person to lie about the truth and try suing someone.  She tells everyone's secrets.  She makes things up...

Thoughts and Questions

I'm wondering how much of my past "reality" really was reality.  What if some of the stuff that I learned when I was under the influence of this illness was a lie?  I wasted how many years of my life living a lie that they claim my mind created during...