I Don't Know Why

I don't know why someone is so obsessed with hacking into my computer.  Am I so important and dangerous that I have to be monitored?  I thought I was just one in billions.  What is so interesting about me that they insist on attacking every computer I...

U.S. Government is a Joke

In this country I see that the government picks on the poorest of the poor to fit their bucget plan.  It's a joke.  If I survive this supposed disability cut, I'm going to give the government my ass to kiss.  Of course last night I had to see on the...

Another Thing About These Cops

They can get onto my ass after I move out of my mother's house and choose to stop taking my medication, but they don't get onto that stupid man about not taking his.  It's bullshit.  If I have the right to stop seeking treatment as the Federal...

WTF?

I have come to conclude that the Alachua County police department sucks.  They single out who they are going to let get away with murder and who they want to pick on.  If a man can get away with verbally and physically abusing his much older wife,...

Interesting

I find it rather interesting that some people who used to talk to me don't anymore around the neighborhood.  Someone is spreading rumors apparently.  I guess even old men fall for the gossip channel's bullshit.  I don't care anymore though.  If people...

I'm Scared

The essay for next week looks extremely difficult.  I doubt highly that I get an A on that one.  I don't even know where to start.    I'm wondering why certain people look at me like I don't belong on this earth.  The first bus driver from...

Thinking

I'd love to destroy that which has been the main focus of my illness, but I don't need karma biting me in the ass.  That guy I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to hex, I won't hex.  I'd like to, but it's not worth another psychotic episode...

Damn It!

I'd like to shoot those who don't get their animals fixed and the other ones who trap cats and take them away from their homes.  Obviously, I can't do that, but I'd like to.  I think I'm about to lose one of the ferals to the park's stupid cat traps...

Remembering

I remember how when I would try to enter the publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes, some asshole screwed with my entries and changed the initials.  One set of intitials comes to mind.  AA.  That set of initials was a problem in my life that I reported...

I'm Topsy Turvy

One minute I think I'm going to make it in this world, and the next, well I don't.  It makes no sense.  I guess it's an improvement, because I used to always call myself a failure.  I guess I'm scared of what the future might dish out to me...

Got to Get Prepared

I have two essays coming up during this semester.  They look difficult because I really know nothing about business on a managerial level.  I have to reopen my mind and use my imagination to get me through this.  I have a feeling that I'm going to ask...

Something Odd In Theory

It seems interesting that while I wasn't going through creepy crawlies, my neighbor's stepfather wasn't being obnoxious and cussing her and her mother out.  Now, I have them back and the bastard is starting all over again.  People also were not...

I Was Pissed

Well, at least my mother sort of apologized for her nasty attitude.  She really hurt my feelings last night.  She did manage to say she couldn't even imagine what I was going through.  That's obvious, or she would have shown a little more compassion. ...

Dumb Bitch!

I've fucking had it.  I got the creepy crawlies again tonight and all my mother can do is yell mean shit because I'm screaming about it.  Now, I officially hate her.  She never gave a fuck about me.

Just Thinking

I think I will be ok to write cover letters now.  Both my mother and I need to find jobs, so this should come in handy.  I think I'm going to make a copy of both of our resumes and have them on both computers that we use.  I know we are going to be...

Some Can't Handle the Truth

Obviously, some can't handle the fact that I have dark thoughts.  I have studied enough psychology to know that some of these thoughts are normal and not something to be ashamed of.  It's not like I act on all of my dark thoughts, either.  In fact, in...

Hoping

I'm hoping that everything goes as planned when I graduate.  I really want a job that pays more than minimum wage so that I can save up for the mobile home that I want.  I'm sitting here doubting myself for whatever reason.  I'm thinking that I have...

This Sucks

I've been feeding feral/stray cats for a while now.  A new one became attached to me last week.  It's the sweetest thing that I have ever seen.  It's loving and mostly black.  I found a growth or something on it's side.  I can't even take it to the...

Feeling Mighty Good

I'm feeling mighty good tonight.  I got a great deal of my Christmas shopping done today.  I'm not spending a fortune on people this year, but at least I'm getting people something.  I'm proud of myself.  I just have my uncle, my second cousin and her...

One Day.............

Maybe one day I will be able to reach my goals without opposition.  Maybe then people will respect me enough to stay the fuck out of my computer and let me do what I want.  I don't look at kiddie porn.  I don't have schematics for blowing shit up on...

Dang

I don't know how many computers that I have to go through before people will stop hacking and altering them.  What the hell is so important about me that they just have to know all of my personal business?  I'm starting to think it's the US government...

I'm Such a Sap

I ended up apologizing to my neighbor after my mom and the maintence guy talked to me.  I shouldn't have gone off on her like that.  He said that he would have let my cat friend out of the trap if it were one of the ones who got caught.  That makes my...

Neighbor

Well, I finally went off on my neighbor.  She has been trying to trap cats via the park maintenance guy, and I thought one of my cat friends was taken away.  I even told her that I hope she starves to death.  It ends up that the cat wasn't missing,...

I'm So Thankful

I'm so thankful for this medication.  I know I'll be able to get back to working soon.  I can't wait because, even if I didn't need the money, I'm still bored out of my mind just sitting around.  Sitting around doing nothing sucks.  I like the idea of...

Possible Change in Plans

Maybe I should hunt down an older double wide trailer to fix up instead of buying my own trailer.  My mother is 65 already.  She's not going to be able to work forever.  There are so many possibilities.  I have to take care of her in the future, and...