Today and Tomorrow

Today I guess was a good day, though I slept through most of it.  I have to figure out whether or not I want to go back to working full-time or not.  If I lose my check, I lose my meds most likely.  That could be a problem if I stay as sensitive as I...

Ridiculous People

I can tell that someone is sending people into my job to start shit with me.  I dealt with an old man saying I look funny yesterday and two bitches laughing at me and saying "Jay-Z doesn't want to hear anything from that girl."  Like I give a fuck...

Thinking

Last week when I talked to my father on the phone, he assumed that I drank all of the time.  Yes, I drink sometimes, but not all of the time.  Besides, with this one particular medication, I really can't do it anymore anyway.  People seem to insist...

Didn't Sleep

I didn't sleep last night.  I hope to get some sleep this morning at least.  I do feel better than I did yesterday.  I freaked out after my post last night.  My cup of soda fell on the floor and I freaked.  I was about to take my meds when it fell.  I...

Oh Well

I have to really clamp down on my spending.  I want to start paying shit down so my score doesn't suck so bad.  I'm glad that my mother is finally going to do something to try and get a job.  I'd have had a hell of a lot payed off if it weren't for...

Suspicious Behavior

My computer was hacked again.  Apparently, no one respects privacy anymore.  You would think I was on a terror watch list or something.  The only thing is, why would they want to be so obvious?  That's not how you catch a terrorist.  That's how you...

Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was researching online and I may be able to buy a place within a year.  Yeah, it's time to quit smoking and save up for a down payment and shit.  I can do this for something I want as badly as I want that.  I kept praying for something that would...

Made Up My Mind

I have decided to not allow my mother's nasty attitude destroy me.  I may miss the cats, but I'm starting to look for options towards moving out in the future.  I'm looking at government housing and apartments that rent to more than one person at a...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOk Fine

I notice that some of my neighbors that used to talk and wave to me are not doing so anymore.  I can't worry about it, because some of them were the ones who attacked my mind.  Someone really wants me to feel rejected either upstairs or downstairs for...

Positively Interesting

I was unfriended on Facebook recently by someone I knew since I was a child.  I unfriended her a few times when I was struggling and supposedly paranoid.  I'm not mad, but it seems kinda strange that she'd pick now to unfriend me.  I can't complain...

Coming Back

I'm starting to come back to feeling stable.  I hope everyone had a good day today.  I'm sitting back and listening to YOUTUBE right now.  I'm listening to Disturbed right now.  I started out listening to Seether and then Evanescense.  Sooner or later...

This Country is a Lie

All of this time that I have supposedly been a schizophrenic prove to be questionable.  My computer protection software showed that it blocked over 60,000 attacks to my computer in just one month, yet someone is still getting in.  All of this time...

Turds

I am fed up with turds trying to make me paranoid.  Come on.  The landscaping guys?  Really?  They don't even know me.  One of them was running his mouth talking shit, pointing to me and saying our place was next to get hit.  I know that the park...

That Which Floats This Boat

I guess I can't always let the people that are closest to me know what makes me happy.  She was sort of okay today, but deep inside I'm still fuming.   On another note, I was having a conversation about dogs and cats with a guy I don't recall...

Sorry Ass Bitch

Now I see how unhappy my mother really wants me to be.  She saw that I finally felt happy and like my prayers were being answered today.  All she could do is become a whiney bitch and complain about what was making me happy and the fact that the house...

Not Going Back

I'm not going back to school any time soon. I've decided on a different approach.  I can still read the books that can get me certified, but I don't have to pay out the ass for school.  If I have a half hour a day to set aside for this, I can do it.

Gonna Find Out Next Week

I'm going to find out if I can go back to school.  I want this so bad, but if I lose my check, I'd have to work full-time.  I know other people can work full-time and go to school, but they don't take a ton of meds to keep them stable.  I want to...

Anxious

I kind of hope I get to keep my disability benefits.  The pros that work(ed) with me tend to think I should have no problem keeping them.  I have an appointment to talk to someone at Social Security today, so we'll see how that goes.  If I keep them,...

Eh, Shit Happens

I have to stop letting certain things bother me.  If I see what I think is a famous person riding around in a trailer park, yes, that is just too strange, especially as many as I have seen.  That's just too wierd.  It makes more sense that it's a...

Oh Lord

Ya know...........if people don't want me around them, they shouldn't go out of their way to come and see me.  They shouldn't have people following me around or spying on me either.  I'm probably dealing with shapeshifters again.  Whatever the case...

Ah Yeah

I feel good tonight.  I dyed my hair again and got rid of the roots.  The only problem is that I did it myself instead of letting my mother do it.  Some areas of my skin look like I colored my hair with permanent marker where I missed with the...

Random Ramblings of the Mind

Well, I'm on a mood stabilizer again now.  It feels a lot better than drinking.  I can't drink with this stuff anyway, so God is good.  I feel much more alert and happy. I got two six packs of Fila socks last night at work.  They were marked down...

Whatever I Feel Like Bitching About

I still feel violated.  I hope people can learn to respect my privacy and stop trying to break my spirit.  I don't know why I always seem to be the target of "space invasion", but I'm fed up.  Don't people realize that this invasion is a main factor...

The More I Fight............

The more I fight and bitch about people crawling up my ass, the more they do it.  Dad heard beeping over the phone today.  One of us is being wiretapped with a shitty wiretap.  Also, I keep seeing a little dos screen pop up when I'm online like...

Drinking

Okay, now I know I have to quit drinking.  My boss came out with "Stop drinking." when I called out today.  It wasn't the drinking that made me call out today, but everyone has been on my ass about it around the neighborhood.  If my boss is saying it...