Chillin'

I woke up before 1:30 this morning because one of my new meds can cause insomnia or at the very least, keeps one fairly alert.  Now I'm looking forward to the future as I am the one who can change where it has been heading.  I still want to go back to...

Calming the Devil

It seems that I have calmed the "devil" inside of me.  I released my pent up anger at Michelle the other day, cried, and screamed.  Now I feel better.    I've decided to stop hiding from the Trump supporters in my friends' list on Facebook too. ...

Feeling Better

Well, I feel better this morning than I did yesterday.  A friend of mine on Facebook responded to my post and we messaged each other back and forth this morning.  At least someone cares.  Maybe things will start to recover now.  One of the cats that I...

It Figures

No one seems to care what is plaguing me on facebook.  I'm still haunted by being called a loser and shit months ago.  I went to Walmart and as I sat there waiting for the bus to come so I could go home, the word kept going through my head.  I bet if...

Strange

Why does it really seem as though there is a God and a Devil in this world?  In almost every religion that I know about, there seems to be a representation of Good and Evil.  It seems obviously real considering how much bad is out there among the...

Before.............

Before this site does shut down, I want to say that I know what I have to do to protect myself.  I am going to go back to school again and learn a form of self-defense.  Over 18 years of being harassed or hacked online has me fed up.  I have enough...

Thoughts of Hope

Since I survived the hurricane and none of my kitty friends were harmed, I'm very grateful.  We still had a home to come back to.  I feel bad for those who weren't this lucky.  Maybe I really am meant to be here after all.  I might still be able to...

I Survived

I got through the hurricane.  The trailer is still standing and all of the cats are fine.  Just thought I would share that.

Fed Up

The real God is an asshole.  I warned that I will commit suicide before I end up homeless.  I have been through enough, and now I have to worry about being in the direct path of a hurricane and living in a mobile home.  I wasn't kidding.  I refuse to...

Sucks

I've been flashing back further than when I was 13 for the past few days.  Also, I've been summing up my existence in the process.  I know they say don't look back, but with psychology, you do look back.  I'm not really using psychology right now...

WTF???????

Why are there so many songs that seem to be so real to my feelings?  I didn't write the shit.  I didn't jump into other bodies.  Either I'm not alone or people are mocking me that I don't know.  I try to deny it for the sake of not looking crazier...

Feeling Hopeful

Well, today I found out that I can still go to school even if I have to declare bankruptcy.  One setback, One thing positive to look forward to.  At least I won't be accused of stealing anymore when I know it wasn't me.  I'm sorry, but people need the...

My Father

I'm kind of pissed off at my father again.  He was bragging about how he got his final expenses to be taken care of by my uncle instead of his kids.  This is a sign that he does not love or respect his REAL children.  He hangs out with two females...

My Immediate Family

I think I'm going to have to do something to teach my immediate family a lesson about life.  I'm sick of getting told that I'm paranoid.  They have not learned yet.  I'm also sick of getting scoffed at for the fact that I had so many problems when I...

Plans

After my last bout with suicidal thoughts, I was going to quit my job.  The boss offered me a leave of absense so I could get my shit together.  I made an appointment for counseling, so maybe that will help.  My finances look as though they're going...

Thinking About the Future

I was a no call no show yesterday at work.  They are still willing to keep me if I get a doctor's note.  Unbelievable.  I was going to try and get a doctor's note, but I don't think I want to go back to work there.  Hopefully, this will give my mother...

I'm Shocked

I quit my job on Friday.  I figured it was better to do that than to off myself because I was over stressed.  Friday night the boss called me and practically begged me to come back.  I've never had that happen before.  Needless to say, I went in to...

Sleepy Thoughts

Well, I made it through yesterday.  I got accused of stealing by a fellow employee, but the store manager and the loss prevention chick were on my side.  They knew I didn't steal anything.  Why the hell would I want to steal when I get a monthly check...

Choice Made

I had the perfect opportunity to kill myself last night.  I chose to get drunk instead.  Obviously, niether way is a good way to cope with life, but I'm still here.  If I didn't think of what could happen if my nieces and nephew would do if they found...

Reasoning

Last night I was really pissed off at God, so I didn't pray.  In fact, I displayed my middle finger to the sky and cussed the hell outta him again.  I don't regret it.  There are going to be a lot of people who might be upset with me because of the...

Done

I am so done with the conept of God.  If he is real, he's nothing but a bullying piece of shit who doesn't deserve to be worshipped.  I ain't kissing his ass anymore.  My prayers don't get answered like I thought they did.  I prayed for the cats and...

First Time

Tonight was the first time I have heard or watched any Linkin Park stuff.  I think I am really heartbroken about Chester.  I see the videos and its hard to believe he's dead.  It's such a shame.

Shit Happens

I may get fired tomorrow, but then again, I may just be too worried.  I started cussing my brains out when the garbage bag broke all over the floor near the end of my shift.  I really didn't want to be at work today anyway.  It was supposed to be my...

Guess I Should Be Grateful

Though when I was young, I wanted to be a singer, I'm kind of glad that never happened.  It seems too many people can't handle fame.  I used to want to get married and have kids like most girls did too, but guys that I dealt with were slimey as fuck...

Rock Star Suicide

I don't understand this concept.  I realize that lyrics tend to scream suffering, but everyone suffers.  The part that pisses me off is the fact that they have everything and it's not good enough for them.  I don't understand their situations, but...